The Start Of The Beginning
by Lady-Aurora-Pendragon
Summary: Arthur plans to walk through the veil... (Story is better than the summary.) A Oneshot based off my series Miscommunications. Gen. Pre-Merthur. Lancelot. Minor Character Deaths.


(This is **NOT** the fourth part, I said that one is called **To Plight One's Troth**. This one, is just an added bonus, kind of. I just sort of realized I had some plot holes I needed to fill. Like, did Arthur know it was Merlin as Dragoon who tried to heal his father, and Lancelot! Lot's of Lancelot! I figured, I went through all of season 4, so I may as well just do the whole season. The fourth part will be based off season 5, so yeah...this takes place right before Miscommunication starts.)

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><p><strong><em>"It's a new day."<em>**

Sitting there, nervous fingers twitching wouldn't do. Arthur got up and started pacing, pacing the bit of space between his bed and his desk. Waiting. The door made a creek and he stopped, turning to look at who entered. It was Lancelot.

"Any changes?"

Lancelot looked grave. "No, Sire."

Arthur let out a sigh and turned away, back toward the window. "Why won't he heal him?" he asked, he knew Lancelot was still in the room. Arthur could feel the man's eyes on him. "I know my father has done horrible things to those like him, but does that mean he deserves to die?"

Arthur turned back finally, to see Lancelot in one of his high backed, red chairs. Lancelot's eyes were casted down now, like he didn't want to meet Arthur's gaze.

"Merlin isn't like that, you know him just as well as I," Lancelot said, looking up at Arthur, seriously. Arthur knew this was the truth, too. That didn't mean_ this_ explained everything though. "Perhaps he worries that he will be caught."

"Perhaps he does…" Arthur thought about it. "There has been a few times when others were blamed. But I don't see why Gaius doesn't just cover for him, like he always does."

"Gaius has already said there is nothing more he can do for the king," Lancelot said, quietly. Of course, Arthur already knew this. "Merlin needs to know that he and his friends are safe if he does cure him."

Arthur nodded, "But how can I assure him?"

"You could tell him the truth?" Lancelot offered, with a sly smile. "That you know what he is."

"I already told you," Arthur bit back. "I want him to tell me."

"Do you think he will?"

"Yes, one day he will."

Arthur was sure, but Lancelot looked less than convinced. But it was hardly Arthur's problem if he doubted their friendship. "I will just have to prove that any sorcerer who heals my father will not go punished."

Lancelot nodded, looking kind, but Arthur saw through it. That was the look Lancelot gave you when he thought you were being rather stupid. Arthur didn't care.

"I will tell him I have decided to use magic to heal my father, "Arthur concluded. It really was an ingenious plan. If Arthur did say so himself, and he did. Lancelot gave him a look.

"But you are not the only one who will condemn him for using magic if he's caught."

"I will speak with my uncle, and tell him I plan to use magic."

"Do you think this will work?"

"It has to."

_**XXX**_

It didn't.

Instead of Merlin admitting what he was, or even healing Arthur's father, secretly. Him and Gaius cooked up a plan to use some sorcerer from the woods. Who, damning him from the beginning, had called Arthur a brat the last time they had met. Now, the old man had taken his father from him.

_"Magic is pure evil,"_ he had told Merlin, in the heat of his rage and sadness. He was angry at Merlin, so angry. Perhaps more so than at the sorcerer who helped aid his father's death. If Merlin would have just healed him, if Merlin wasn't such a coward…

Even though Arthur knew that wasn't true, Merlin was one of the bravest men Arthur had ever met, but he was still so angry. He wanted to shout at him, throw him in the cells, but he didn't, the sinking sadness was too strong for him to preform such acts right now.

And it was a good thing he didn't.

It wasn't until the morning that Arthur let the anger slip away. When he came from the room and saw Merlin there, looking just as upset as Arthur felt. Arthur knew better than his anger. Merlin probably blamed himself. Perhaps he wasn't strong enough to heal such a wound as his father had. If the magic book that Merlin did a terrible job hiding in his room said anything, it was that he was still learning his craft. Arthur was being selfish.

It had been a few days since the death of his father. Now, Arthur sat at the feasting table, the chair next to him still empty, as it had been for the past year. And now, it would always be empty, or rather, Arthur would fill now. He stood up, raising his glass of wine.

"The Samhain, a time to remember those who we have lost, and celebrate their passing," Arthur said, to the crowd of knights and lords. "I thought this occasion only fitting, after the loss of my father. To King Uther!"

There were a few shouts in agreement and Arthur brought the cup to his lips. But it was at this exact moment that Merlin fell to the grown. Arthur watched on, as Lancelot ran to his aid. Needless to say, the feast was over before it began.

_**XXX**_

As always, there was a reason Merlin had passed out, there always seems to be. It was the Dorocha. Arthur had already been out and saw the things with his own eyes. And, there only seemed to be one way to solve the problem. A blood sacrifice.

"But you cannot go, Sire," his uncle argued with him. "Your coronation is in the morning."

"Postpone it," Arthur shrugged, simply. He had no plans of becoming king anyway. "My peoples safety is much more valuable to me than becoming king."

"Your people need a ruler…"

"And they will have one."

Arthur had appointed Agravaine acting king, there was no one else he would see run his kingdom. His father was dead and soon, Arthur would be too. If giving his life for his people would be the end of the Pendragon's name, then so be it.

_**XXX**_

Merlin was stupid, so stupid. Why would he do this? Of course, Arthur knew the reason, but he didn't like it, not in the slightest.

"Take me with you," Merlin whispered. It seems, that's all he could muster, but he should be dead. So Arthur rather a whisper than nothing at all. Arthur fixed him with a look. "Arthur, please…"

"No," Arthur told him, he wasn't able to meet the others eyes. He was so pale, so cold. It was the closest to death Arthur ever wanted to see him. He turned to Lancelot instead.

"Take care of him," he told him, quietly, handing over the reins to Merlin's horse.

Lancelot smiled. "I will."

Arthur watched them go, and from then on, it was hard for him to focus on the job at hand. He couldn't imagine that being the last time he saw Merlin, and to never know if Merlin recovered. He found it very hard to focus, indeed. Leon patted him on the back, after a few hours of traveling.

"You did the right thing," he said. "Merlin couldn't have continued with us like that."

"I'm fine," Arthur lied. "And I know…"

Behind them Gwaine was being attacked by bees and Arthur rolled his eyes, forcing himself to press on.

They reached the Isle of the Blessed, and took camp; they would seek out the veil tomorrow. Arthur never felt so detached from life before. Still, his mind worried for Merlin; they should be halfway to Camelot by now. But the rest of him, felt numb. He was never scared of death, he was a warrior, every time he stepped into battle he was likely to die. If it wasn't for Merlin, then he probably would have many times. He thought that perhaps this was best, Merlin not here. More likely than not, Merlin was planning something to stop Arthur, he wasn't as big of a fool as he played, he knew what Arthur was planning. That was why he asked Arthur to take him along, even when he was near death already. Arthur would never allow that. However, that didn't mean Arthur didn't wish for him to be here now, to sit with him.

The knights were picking on Gwaine again, and Arthur found that fitting, seeing as he was Gwaine and deserved it. For nothing really, just for being Gwaine.

There was a noise and the teasing stopped. Arthur had never felt his heart react in such a way, when he saw Lancelot. But it was hardly for Lancelot that his heart reacted. Lancelot looked grave, like he had when they spoke in his chambers about his father.

"Bad news…"

The numbness suddenly attacked Arthur' brain as well as the rest of him. _No._ There was never a time when Arthur wanted to be living when Merlin was not. Somehow that didn't feel right, it was painfully wrong. It couldn't be.

"He's still alive."

Arthur really didn't like Lancelot anymore.

_**XXX**_

"It's going to be alright," Merlin said, some time later. When the rest of the knights were asleep. It was only he and Arthur awake. "Everything is going to be alright."

"I'm just tired," Arthur lied, eating a grape. He supposed he looked how he felt. Which, was still a bit numb, if he was being a honest.

"You don't have to do this," Merlin continued, because he knew Arthur was lying. "You don't have to sacrifice yourself."

"I have to save my people."

"I will take your place."

And there it was, the thing Arthur knew Merlin was planning all along. Like hell Arthur would allow that. Merlin should know this by now.

"Merlin…"

"What is a life of a servant compared to that of a prince…the future king?"

"Well, a good servants hard to come by."

"I'm not that good…" Merlin whispered. Arthur had to fight his smile.

"True."

Merlin let it be then, and Arthur gathered himself. Going for a bit of air. The night air was cold, it felt freezing against Arthur's warm body. If possible, this made him feel even more detached from the world. Like he didn't belong here anymore. He heard a scuff from behind him.

"Go inside, Merlin."

"What does he always say…_I don't really fancy it_?"

Arthur grinned at the sound of Lancelot's voice. He came to stand next to Arthur; he could hear the other man take in a deep breath of cold air.

"Merlin was worried you were going to run off to the isle without us, so I told him I would go watch you," Lancelot explained. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"That is very kind of you, truly..."

"Merlin cares for you."

"I know."

"As do all of us," Lancelot continued. "And I know it doesn't matter what I may think-"

"You will not talk me out of my decision."

"I know," Lancelot said, calmly. "If I were you, I would do the same."

"So, you think I'm doing the right thing?" Arthur asked, because this was important. And above all, he trusted Lancelot's judgment.

"Yes, I do."

Arthur nodded, not meeting Lancelot's gaze, he looked out at the night sky. The last one he would see. "I must ask you for one more favor, Lancelot."

"Anything."

"Tomorrow, when we reach the veil, Merlin will try and stop me from entering it, you know he will," Arthur told him. He glanced over to see Lancelot nod, with a knowing smile on his lips. "I ask you to see that he doesn't interfere."

"I will."

"And after…look after him?"

It was a much more venerable request than Arthur had meant for it to be. But Lancelot only smiled, kindly at him, and not at all like he was stupid, he grabbed Arthur's shoulder.

"I will protect Merlin with my life."

Arthur believed he would, and would have done so anyway. There was nothing more to say to that.

_**XXX**_

A pain in Arthur head made it hard for him to move, but he forced himself anyway. _Where was he? What the hell was going on?!_ Arthur got to his knees and looked around, eyes watering from the pain in his head. It was dark and smelled of stale water. He blinked a few times and things started to come into focus. There was Gwaine, laying unconscious on the ground, and then, there was Merlin, curled into a ball on the ground. Arthur was rather confused as to how this all happened.

"Merlin," he said, reaching out for him, he was the closest to Arthur after all. Merlin looked up, as if surprised and that's when Arthur saw the tears on Merlin's cheeks. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Merlin asked, in a soft, broken voice. When Arthur shook his head, Merlin continued, with some effort. "Lancelot…"

Arthur felt dread inside him swell, he looked around and didn't see Lancelot anywhere. "What happened to him, Merlin?" Arthur asked, urgently. "Where is he?"

"He…" Merlin stopped, taking a shaking breath. "He walked though the veil."

And that's when it all came back to Arthur. Confronting the gatekeeper to the Sprite World, Cailleach, Arthur planning to walk through the veil and then Merlin knocking him out.

"I couldn't stop him…"

"It's alright," Arthur told him. "It's alright…"

Merlin sat up and let the tears flow openly, while Arthur stood there, on his knees, stomach sick with sadness. It was then that Gwaine let out a mighty groan and sat up, the two looked over at him, as he rubbed his head.

"What I miss…?"

This prompted a very sad return to Camelot.

_**XXX**_

"It's my fault," Guinevere said, as they watched Lancelot's cape and sword burn, because it was the only thing left of him. Arthur looked over, eyes clouded with his own sadness. "I asked him to look after you."

"That's silly, Merlin can look after me," he said, without much thinking. Guinevere shook her head.

"Merlin is only one man, an unarmed man," she said. "I was worried you were planning to sacrifice yourself and I asked him…" She chocked and Arthur let it go, turning to leave, he touched her shoulder, gently, and left her to grieve. He returned to his chambers.

Sometime later, after nightfall, his uncle walked in. Smiling brightly at him. Apart from the initial paled shock his uncle sported, when Arthur had returned, they hadn't much time to speak. It seems Arthur was more predictable than he thought, and everyone thought he was riding off to his death.

"The coronation is set for two days time," Agravaine said, coming to stand in front of Arthur. "Giving enough time to grieve properly over our Sir Lancelot."

"Thank you, Uncle," Arthur nodded. Agravaine dwelled for a moment, but then walked out and Arthur didn't want to know why. Probably because he wanted to speak with him about something or another. But for now, Arthur didn't want to deal with it.

He wasn't expecting Merlin tonight, he expected him to be grieving somewhere, but there he was, just as Arthur had climbed into bed.

"What are you doing here?" Arthur asked, as he watched Merlin pick up some clothes off the floor and rearrange a chair.

"I'm your servant, it's my job to be here…"

"I didn't expect you tonight."

"Right," Merlin nodded. "I have to get ahead start on your armor for the crowning…"

"You don't have to do that tonight," Arthur told him. He watched as Merlin stopped, head down. He looked near tears again and Arthur hardly knew what to do. He hadn't looked this sad since his father's death, and with the recent death of Arthur's own father, he could understand how Merlin felt. "I'm sorry," he said, without really meaning to. "About Lancelot…"

"It's not your fault," Merlin didn't look at him.

"It is."

No matter what Guinevere might have thought, Arthur knew the truth, he had asked Lancelot to protrect Merlin with his life, and he had done just that. And now, Arthur would never forgive himself.

"You can't blame yourself, Arthur," Merlin finally looked up and glared at Arthur, fiercely. "I mean, the Cailleach….she knocked you out and, you could not control what happened."

"She knocked me out?" Arthur asked, a bit amused. Merlin stopped and shrugged at Arthur.

"Perhaps she didn't think it was your time…"

"Perhaps not."

Arthur couldn't help but smile. Merlin was such an idiot at times. It was quiet then. Merlin picked up Arthur's celebration cape and picked at the edge of the gold dragon embroidered on it.

"I told you, you didn't have to do that tonight," Arthur told him, sternly.

" I have to, " Merlin smiled, softly, up at him. "The prat who wears this is becoming king and I don't think the people would like a shabby looking king."

"Probably not," Arthur answered, grinning, but only just.

'No…" Merlin agreed. "Even though he's a bit of an ass, if you ask me."

"No one's asking you," Arthur retorted.

"And if you ask me, his dress robes are going to need taken out a few inches, as well," Merlin grinned, fully and very openly at Arthur.

"Are you calling me fat?!"

"See, that's why I have to start now, or else you'll be crowned naked," Merlin continued to grin. "And no one wants to see that."

"Insulting the king, Merlin, I could have you in the stalks for this…"

"You're not king yet," Merlin pointed out, slyly. Arthur couldn't suppress the growing grin anymore.

"No, not yet…"

"So, I'm not insulting the king, just the prat prince, like always."

"I could have you in the stalks for that too," Arthur reminded.

"Oh, I know," Merlin concluded, flinging the cape over his shoulder. "But then who would take out your dress robes? I'm not sure you could fit into them anymore, you know..." Merlin stuck out his belly and Arthur, with false anger, threw one of his red pillows at him. Merlin dodged it and headed for the door. "Pleasant dreams_, Sire_…."

Merlin slipped out of the room and Arthur watched the spot he had last seen Merlin, with that feeling in his chest he always seemed to get after any _particular_ conversation with Merlin. He sighed and let himself relax.

He still missed his father more than he could say, and now Lancelot too. But he had to put those things from his mind, and focus on now, he was to be crowned king. Once Arthur was king, who knows what could happen…

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><p>(<em><strong>AN:**_ Of course we know what happens...lol.)


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